God is near to you. Call him. God walks with you. Walk with him. He is only one whom you can escape toward whit broken legs. He is only one whom you can see with blind eyes. Call this god. Live with this god. Serve this god. Serve. I know you are passing difficult time. I know that your condition is not good, But this situation is like a card. If god wants, he will change your condition, But he wants to know what is your idea in that situation.